14th February 2018

Why being single has helped me

This is slightly fitting for Valentines, but it’s a positive one, not an I cry over Galentines post!

As I never thought I’d see the day I was single in my mid-ish twenties, I was in a relationship for donkeys from being 17 and didn’t expect to end up being single at 24. But although the grass isn’t greener as some people might think, I’ve learnt more about myself being single in my mid twenties than I ever thought I would. There was a time I was so reserved that I would just stay in the house and didn’t speak to any of my friends, and that was all my own doing. Though I probably still do that quite a lot to avoid socialisation, I was far too comfortable in what I had but also made myself miserable! It took a lot of learning to enjoy my own company, which I probably should have worked on anyway.

It never passed my mind I would have to break up with someone I thought I’d be up, nor did I know how to break-up with someone. It’s sad to think that something you thought would be forever isnt, but it isn’t all doom and gloom.

So 2017 was really a wake up call for me! I’ve done things I would have never have dreamed of and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. Sometimes you don’t have anyone around you to say how well you’ve got on. So why not say it to yourself! It’s not all sunshine being single at this age. All your friends are coupling up, buying houses etc whilst I’m watching tv with my dogs and wondering what Netflix series to watch next. (Grimm by the way). But I don’t think I’ve been so happy on my own before.

Beforehand I couldn’t:

Stay in the house alone at night
Go shopping on my own
Travel on a plane alone
Be outgoing and make new friends
Enjoy a good wild night out
Spend time with my friends

And by all means, I was my own worst enemy. I convinced myself I didn’t have to do all those things cause I could get someone else to do them with me. It’s not healthy relying on someone else for your own happiness! I’ve learnt it the hard way. But it’s been the best lesson I’ve learnt and still learning now! It’s so invigorating being able to go out and do things. Which are probably things some will find easy. But I never did and sometimes still don’t!

Now I can:

Travel abroad alone (biggie)
Go shopping alone
Spend a whole week alone at home
Go out without make up on
Go to the gym alone
Enjoy girls nights out
Have wild girl holidays
Start a new job in the city

I know some of these things are simple for some people, but for me they’re a big milestone. And I feel a little accomplished now I’ve written it all down! I’m no longer whinging at home about having to go somewhere alone, I am not the only person who does it! Albeit I still have my off days where I’m scared to even just go to the gym. But that’s life. And tomorrow is another day! But I am so proud of how far I’ve came over the last year. And I literally had the best 2017 after I reflected on my year.

Who would have thought that in 2017 I would have met some of the best friends I could have asked for. And travelled to amazing places with some of them. I mean Amsterdam was just the start of 2017. Now to add to it every year, whether I’ll be single or not! Next stop, Bali!